In an effort to distract myself from some horrible shit i’ve recently seen I thought it might be a good Idea to post some of the wisdom I have gained since leaving my narcissistic abuser
Okay so here I go, The main thing that you all need to know that few will actually tell you is that what you have suffered is abuse. you might say, “well he didn’t hit me so how can it be abuse?”
Mental and emotional abuse are still types of abuse, these ones just happen to not leave physical scars. the things they (Narcissists) do, vary in degrees. you may have children with them, but I’m here to tell you , do not think that just because they seemingly love them doesn’t mean that they will not use your love for your children against you. they will as a form of control. This i have seen a lot with many different families. They will hurt your child emotionally to hurt you, don’t doubt it. They hurt your child to control your actions.
A narcissist will say the worst things about you to others so that it seems like no one is on your side, (mine did this) they will isolate you so that you can only “depend on them” mine was well on his way to succeeding with that one. when you are so depressed and filled with anxiety and can do nothing but sleep because of it, they will call you lazy and fat and all the things that you are currently struggling with because of the mental health issues that THEY have caused you.
Let me tell you now though when you leave, when you are completely ready to be free, and at some point you will break free, you will go through months of “Oh My GOD! What have I done? what am I going to do now? what do i have now? I should just go back, he/she’s right no one is going to want me now or ever.”
You will go through this Dark night but i’m going to tell you, You are going to make it through, one day at a time. One day your going to wake up and the pain is less and you feel more clear in the head. After that you may realise that the medications you were on for anxiety and depression are no longer needed because you are worse off taking them and now you are starting to feel better.
Days after that you will catch your self singing to some dumb song on the radio and he’s not yelling at you that your off tune. Then after that you begin to start doing things that you enjoy again. You go for walks once more because he’s not there to tell you otherwise and stress you out over. dumb shit.
Most of all, you begin to realise that you are free, things taste better, sound and smell better. a simple shower feels good instead of like a chore. You stop dreading the sound of a vehicle in the drive because you are Free, you are free You Are FREE!
let that sink in
And be free.
With Love, Light and Blessings
Megs the House Witch