In my studies I have found that coming into right relations with not only spirit but with my self is a journey on its own.
Since leaving my now ex husband I have found that I now need to come into right relations with spirit and myself. Everything i have been doing in the last few weeks seems to be pushing me in that direction. I am in need of healing and part of that is discovering who I am once more.
At the moment i’m not entirely sure who I am any more or what i enjoy but I have been slowly discovering it.
A few days ago I discovered a tea shop that also had used books and yarn, to say that they were all of my favorite things all in one place.. Well i was ecstatic to go and check them out, their blend of cream of earl gray tea is quite wonderful, and the name of the place is entirely appropriate to my current state of mind. Faking Sanity, which is totally what I feel like I’m doing but sitting here I have also realised that I have not been in right relation with myself or with spirit, I had given up I had been dying, I had been given four years to live. I accepted it and because of the abuse I didn’t care if I died or not, I was giving up on life and my only happiness was my dog, Knox, he became the light of my life and that was my only concern. He’s my little love, he cuddles and naps with me, he makes me laugh with his antics and right now, he’s my reason for living.
So how does one come into right relationship with spirit? It’s actually simple but seems like it’s so hard, you say yes. Yes to life, yes to spirit, yes.
Seems simple right? But is actually one of the hardest things you might ever do. I know it’s becoming the hardest thing for me. I was concerned if I would be able to see if that was something I was going to be able to do with my life. Was I going to be to say yes to spirit? But then I realised that I had already begun that journey into right relationship with spirit by leaving the abuse. I had already said yes to life so how hard would it be to say yes to other things.
Well considering this is an ongoing process I need to continue to say yes to myself and to the things that I enjoy, like used books and tea, or food. I realised that I have been starving my soul had been starving, I cry when listen to music that I enjoy because before I had been criticised for listening to because my ex didn’t like that music. So I starved my soul trying to please my ex.
I am now looking for the things that feed my soul, experiences that allow me to live and breath and grow.
I want my story in the things that I post to inspire anyone who’s gone through similar things as me to be able to draw from this and have hope. The more I work on myself the more I heal from the past ten years, some days I’m going to bed earlier because of the stuff that I released and I need more sleep so that I can heal. As I sit and write this I am realizing that I am growing tired because these are the things that help heal as I release my story to the world
I know now there is hope that there will always be hope one just has to look for it, I know I’m being supported by my spirit guides and by the great spirit as well.
I am growing and changing
Megs The House Witch